Almost Healthy - The Tortoise And The Hare

Let’s keep it real, most people’s vision of a healthy new year is often lost in the very first minute. As Auld Lang Syne whines out of our mouth we are already in the grip of naughty indulgence, party food floating on a lake of booze, one eye open, staggering in front of the TV; trying to work out who the singer is on Jools Holland.

It’s okay though because the New Year, New You mantra starts officially tomorrow, tomorrow when you wake, today.

So January the 1st kicks off with a hangover, or else a few cheeky hairs of the dog at the City Ground, just to take the edge off and keep the blues away. A nice cosy win against Blackburn so maybe a few more after to celebrate.

Mm, so overall you didn’t roar boldly into the New Year like you thought you would, and January the 1st ended up being a vulnerable day of tentative reflection, January numero uno is written off completely and in actual fact your New Year’s Resolution begins in earnest on the second, yes January the 2nd is when it really begins.

So you venture into it with a few motivational YouTube clips to get the engine lit: Tony Robbins, Ted Talks, some American doctor out in San Diego talking about the advantages of a Keto Diet. You feel fired-up and ready to conquer. Haven’t got to be back at work until the 7th, another full week to keep the ball rolling and send this new and improved version of yourself out into the world…

…maybe a few moments of creeping doubt sneak into your mind and intrude your thoughts while in the shower, a dreary déjà vu, we’ve been here before, Remembrance of Things Past, and how this feeling never lasts, fitness diaries that died out in the third week, expired gym memberships in the back of your wallet, the dusty Davina McCall DVD from 1999, you wonder if you are that type of person who always starts things but never finishes them???

NOT THIS YEAR!

This year is mine, yours, ours.

As the Americans say, you got this.

We’ve got this.

We head into Sports Direct to get kitted-out for the year ahead, get so motivated we swing by Pure Gym on the way home, just to see what the place is like but ten minutes later we’re all signed-up and ready to go, with our induction booked for tomorrow at 9. From there we’re in the Sainsbury’s next door, trolley being filled with chicken, fish, eggs, Greek yoghurt, almonds, and a whole manner of veg, broccoli n’ Co. Multivitamins. Almond milk. Coconut oil. Not a gateau or a bottle of pop in sight. Greggs and McDonald’s are now just blurry images in your rear-view mirror.

At home the fridge is before us, all majestic and glowing as we replace the last of the festive booze with this nutritional masterpiece.

You step back and admire it, take a mini bottle of carrot juice and collapse back on the sofa…

Ha. Just wild. Granted, the above story maybe a little far-fetched, but how many of us have been in that same psychological playground? This delusional eagerness, the unrealistic and unsustainable pace set by that heroic hare of ambition that lives inside of us. It never lasts. It always runs out of steam. At the time of writing this we’re a little over halfway through the first month, it’s the 17th, and already I’ve noticed the body-count at the gym drop dramatically, and the dismal defeat in people’s faces tell me that more are about to go.

Then what are we faced with? Self-loathing by the end of January, acceptance by the beginning of February, and by Valentine’s Day we are exactly where we were at Christmas.

So why do we do it to ourselves? Playing into the hands of the commercial vultures who have built a whole enterprise on this cyclic delusion. Placing this pressure on our shoulders, tying our limbs up with conditions, trying to build Rome overnight with a bucket and spade, of course we’re destined to fail! Humans aren’t built that way. Inner habits, drives and compulsions of the psyche can’t just be rewired with a click of the finger. Patterns take time. So best adopt the pace of the tortoise, slow but certain, focussed, tenacious, learning as we go, I really don’t want to use the cheesy line of… it’s the journey, not the destination… but looks I just did…oh.

Start small and build, one day at a time, one gym session at a time, one run at a time, one meal at a time. Being in a constant state of adjustment and reset, tweaking and tapering, making habit your champion. (A great book to start with is The Willpower Instinct by Kelly McGonigal).

Focus on the inner before we try and conquer the outer.

The nature of growth. We’re always almost there. Almost fit. Almost healthy.

It’s an ongoing, unfolding process, so enjoy…